Our first meeting with the therapist

Well yesterday went good. Overwhelming, but good. She does think she has a mild case of SID (sensory integration dysfunction) but is a normal child other than this small problem. She thinks once they find the right types of therapy for her she will respond quickly.

She will meet with a speech pathologist to focus on eating (I never knew they did anything other than speech!) and with the OT for her tactile (touch) issues. When we told her Evelyn was tightly swaddled for all naps and bedtime until a year old, she thought that was very significant. She wants us to try making an "Evie sandwich" at home squishing her between two pillows to see if it calms her, especially during angry moments. It may recreate that swaddled feeling for her. 

They also want us to start letting her chew on an electric toothbrush to desensitize her mouth. We have to use it on her cheeks, tongue, and roof of her mouth. Hopefully as her mouth gets used to something touching it, after a while she will not have a problem with food touching those areas as well.

As for her behavior and aggression and tantrums, we all agree it is probably part of the SID, part behavioral and part her personality. I am strong willed and have a temper(I wouldn't be surprised if she inherited it!). As an adult I've learned to control that, but as a child she just doesn't know how. 

We really are going to crack down on discipline. I think I read way too many parenting books for my own good. Each has a different philosophy on parenting and we are mixing all of them. No wonder she is confused! However, most those methods involve making sure the child doesn't feel embarrassed, or that you don't send them to their room because that is their "safe" place, or that you talk to them softly and reason with them, and they only get time outs after a warning blah blah blah. 

I think with her personality she needs just good old fashioned consistent discipline. We got a book by Dr. Ray, a well known speaker to the Catholic community, who incidentally has 10 children. He obviously raised them, so he knows what he is talking about(as opposed to alot of parenting authors who have one or two children who were sent to day care while they worked full time). He made a very interesting point in the book. He said once a grandmother said to him "I didn't have half the trouble with my 8 kids as my daughter does with her two....I don't understand why". So it got me to wonder, why? Why are we so overwhelmed with one or two kids when our grandparents had 8 or 9 and weren't half as stressed or have half the issues we do. I honestly think it comes down to the change in child rearing and the not wanting to discipline firmly. I don't see that shift as a positive one. So we will follow his techniques and go back to firm consistent discipline where she absolutely will know what is expected and who is in control (us).

Today we started with that and already have stopped a few tantrums mid scream. Instead of saying "do you need to go potty" or "do you want to eat lunch" we tell her "it's time to go potty." "it's time to eat lunch." We set a timer at meal time and when it goes off, meal time is over whether she likes it or not. She played quietly by herself this morning and is even having quiet time on the couch right now. I hope this works!

The therapist thought since she has all this stuff going on like the laxatives, the food issues, being back in diapers, etc she feels out of control of that part of her life, so she will try to control anything else she can. Which shows. She wants to be in charge. Once we help her get over the food issues and the laxative issues, and get her back to her normal routine, hopefully that need for control will slowly go away.

So the therapist wants her to come twice a week, but with one other child, our busy schedules and the fact that we have to pay for this, I just don't see it happening. It's at nap time and messing with her schedule that often just will not fly. We will start with one day a week, do the home therapy she taught us, start good old discipline and not this fluffy stuff we were doing, and re potty train and hopefully those things together will help her over come this.

Luckily, the therapist doesn't think anything else is going on. This isn't affecting her social skills, her learning, or her developmental milestones. When she starts school full time next year, we will see then how she does in a school environment. We don't think she will have any problems. If she does, we will worry about it then!

So we are thankful this is mild and easily treated. It won't be a quick fix, but it will happen. She may never be a good eater, but she will eat. She may never be calm or never get angry, but hey...who doesn't get angry every once in a while!

Now we start this next journey and we are looking forward to it.  And we are so thankful for the support we've received from all of you! And while Evelyn may have a "label" now, please don't look at her any differently than you did before. She's still our funny, hyper, loving, smart little girl that we all knew. The last thing we want is for her to grow up thinking she's "different." We refuse to treat her differently or like she has a disease. We have the same expectations for her future and her behavior that we have for our other child. It may not be an easy road, but we refuse to let this diagnosis make her feel any different than other kids. We just ask you to support us and always treat her the same.

Thanks again everyone!